Friday, January 23, 2009

Costanza Theory

In an episode of Seinfeld, Jerry’s hapless friend, George Costanza, decides that to change his life around, he will simply do the opposite of whatever he normally would have done. So, for example, in an encounter with an attractive woman in a restaurant, rather than lie, he tells her that he is unemployed and lives with his parents to which the surprised woman responds with immediate arousal. George discovers that, for him, the secret to success is doing “the opposite.”

Based on the pattern identified in my previous post Bizzaro World, I now suggest that the government immediately adopt Costanza Theory in dealing with the nation’s economy and foreign policy.

For example, if the government ordinarily would be inclined to stimulate the economy by spending money, it should instead attempt to save money. If the government is inclined to increase taxes, it should lower them. If the government is inclined to increase regulation in any sphere of the economy, it should reduce regulations and so on. With respect to foreign policy, if the government ordinarily would “negotiate” with our enemy it should refuse to speak to them. If it is inclined to retreat in a war, it should immediately attack. Even at the risk of the American government attacking Canada or the United Kingdom, I think the benefit that we annihilate a country like Iran and secure Western civilization far outweighs the risks.

I really believe that if the current government simply did “the opposite” of everything it normally does – we could have a utopia on earth.

4 comments:

Gideon said...

That would be George Costanza, not Constanza. And I think you're right -- it probably won't be much worse than what the government would do anyway...

Doug Reich said...

oops. you're right, thanks.

Mike N said...

Now that's a foreign and domestic policy I could get behind.

Philosophical Mortician said...

Chicken salad and a cup of tea my friends.